fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
