I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
