I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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