Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize
