Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
