Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
