I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
