He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
