highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
