..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
do herpes really smell.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
