I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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