why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
