I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Found the puke drawer
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
