i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
