I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
