Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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