We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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