these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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