then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
