everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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