Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
