false alarm. still invincible.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
