you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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