dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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