Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
