Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also, beer. Big fan.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
