Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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