Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
