You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
