Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
