dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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