big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
