If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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