I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
