well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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