Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
