I must be too annoying 4 u.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Randomize
