Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
