he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
