I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
