Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
