I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
