I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
