I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
