***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
