she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
