No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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