he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
