He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize