Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
