I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
