Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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